You know that idiom that people tend to say around this time of year?
“April showers bring May flowers” – Hence, the title?
Well, a friend pointed out that April didn’t have many showers, and the flowers bloomed way before May, which, in the state I live in, is quite true. BUT, I figure I would apply it to my life. Why?
Because, when I reflected on the statement itself, I realized, this has been my experience so far. Yes, I would say that April was a very difficult month – for my entire tripartite being (with the exception of being well during the part of my vacation that I was able to enjoy). And the month of May? I’m happy to report that I’m much happier now, and that things are looking up.
With that in mind, I had a conversation with my sister over my last post – in which we focused a lot on all the blessings we could see that occurred during April.So, I want to dedicate the rest of this post to mentioning all the blessings there are in my life. But let me point out: I have a tendency to see the negatives, more often than the positives. In my last entry, I mentioned that it’s really hard for me to see the blessings in my life – they are there, they are just not so apparent to my eyes. That’s what I meant when I said that I’m learning to see them. I’d like to also say that I would hope that in the future, this part of me that sees the negative part of life more readily than the positive would change. I would change. But I can’t change myself. Only the Lord can do that. By His mercy, and His timing, this would be something that could be dealt with in a proper manner.
Bear with me, here’s where we get to the good part:
When those whom you know tell you something along the lines of: “Let the Lord shepherd your soul”, “He’s the chief Shepherd”, “He’s taking care of you”, “His way and His timing are higher than our ways”, “Everything will work out for the good”, (especially, His good), “He’s faithful to complete the good work He started in you”, and so forth. You have to take that to heart. Really, to heart. Save them within your being. It doesn’t matter if that’s already a fact and the words straight out of the Bible itself. If someone says it to you. If you read it. Keep it in your being. Because it’s true. You may not see it right away, but this is also part of the blessings part. Eventually, you will.
So, back in April, my mom died. That’s just the fact. I can’t do anything about it. I wish she wasn’t gone. It wasn’t unexpected. We knew it was getting closer to the end. We knew she had to go. But, the reality is, we’re never really prepared to see someone we love leave this earth. We miss her a lot. And here’s the blessing part: But, the fact of the matter is, that her spirit is with the Lord and she’s in a far better place than we are (Phil. 1:23) – oh, not to mention that she doesn’t have to suffer any more physical pain! That’s a really comforting thought. Just like the apostle Paul, he had the desire to depart and be with Christ because it was far better, but had to remain in his flesh for the people’s sake. This was the Lord’s way for him.
That was blessing #1.
Are you still with me? – – Here, I’ll list and note out some of the others:
Blessing #2: Having the realization that saints from all over the world are praying for you.They are standing with you. Praying for your entire family. Why? Because when one member suffers (in the Body!) we all suffer (1 Cor. 12:26). My sorrow is your sorrow. Your joy, is my joy. When one member rejoices, we all rejoice. We can’t live without one another. For the sake of my going on in the Lord, and even being willing to continue meeting and coming to the Lord – – I need your intercessions. For the sake of your going on in the Lord – you need my intercessions. We do have a High Priest interceding on our behalf, but He also needs our prayers to help Him carry out His purpose within us (1 Tim. 2:1).
Blessing #3: The realization that your family is with you every step of the way. You don’t have to ask questions such as: “how are you feeling?” or “are you doing okay?” because each one of you has lost the same person. There’s an unspoken understanding. We have the freedom to laugh, to enjoy, to cry and to remember. (And for those of you who may not have this experience yet, I pray you would get to that point. At least if it’s not with your physical blood-related family, it’s the realization that you have the saints as your family too)
Blessing #4: God’s timing is always perfect. The realization that had I not been home (though I missed being with my fellow trainees in 4th term!) I would’ve regretted not being here. I don’t regret it one bit. And that thing, where I had to have surgery? That was also perfectly timed out by the Lord – why? Well, had I been anywhere else, I probably would’ve not known what to do. My sister was with me every step of the way through that experience and for that I am eternally grateful.
Blessing #5: Being grateful and thankful to the Lord and to all the saints for all they have done and provided for you. I don’t know where I would be without them. Proof? Saints bringing food to us. Their visiting my mom when she was at home and couldn’t move around much. My team sent me a card, and our team CD (when I had thought they had completely forgotten all about it!), my house sending me a huge HEART shaped card, because, well, they love me. ❤
Blessing #6: Being alive. Having the realization that your life was given to you to live in a certain way. Be happy to be alive. I have the rest of my life ahead of me. I’m not sure what to do with it but I know it’s supposed to serve a purpose for the Lord. It’s by His grace and mercy that I’m still here, even willing to live. (“Teach us then to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” -Psalm 90:12 ) If we enjoy the Lord to fullest extent, every minute and every day – then our life has a huge amount of meaning. That eternal weight of glory will be inside of us.
Blessing#7: Getting practical here: I am provided with everything I need, for now at least. (I suspect that a husband and children will come into the picture in due time – in the Lord’s timing of course) But for now, I’m pretty content that I have everything I need.
Okay, so I need to stop there for now. But I think I covered some major big, serious ones. I have my health, I have my family, I have friends who care about and love me, I have many years to look forward to. I’m still learning about life. I can smile. I can make mistakes and learn from them. And there’s so much more. I am really blessed. I’m just now learning this. I am really really blessed to have what I have in my life. There are people out there that don’t see their blessings and take life for granted. I don’t want to be that kind of person. I want to be happy (I am currently happy – which still amazes me) and enjoy the blessings that come my way – – that I’ve been given, that I’m thankful to the Lord for giving me.
It’s not an easy road. Dark times come, and then the light comes over the horizon and brings joy, and it’s a continuous cycle of downhills and uphills. But, through all this, the important thing is that you would reflect on what God has provided to you, the blessings He’s given to you, the love, the joy and peace that comes your way, and then to realize that through it all, whether difficult or not, your experiences are not in vain, and that they serve a purpose, to help you give comfort to those who need it, to help you realize that the Lord really is working in you to conform you more to the image of Himself – and most importantly, that this is all happening because He really does love you.
Don’t give ground to the enemy to tell you otherwise. If you’re in a low place, you need to fight him off – and then get up, dust your back off and keep moving forward, to run the race of the course that’s set before you.
I absolutely love this. I’ve given up. Surely I have. And I’ll still give up, but in the end, you’ll see that the Lord truly has done something in you with the desire that He’s gained you for His purpose. His purpose in you would be fulfilled.
So, April 2012 – you gave me difficulty, sorrow, hardship (the showers?), and in the midst of it all, many blessings – –
And May, you’re giving me joy, peace, rest, and happiness. (the flowers?) – and many more blessings!