Existential crisis, anyone? /Summer hiatus?

There’s a new layout on the blog! I’m pretty excited about it. Because it’s more happy. Happier. and maybe every time I look at it will bring me some kind of excitement or joy. Plus, I’m working toward wanting to have a more fun and happier life.

Now, for the main reason of my post:
Supposedly, i know the meaning of my life already. But….i find myself questioning a lot of things these days, and my faith is included. So, I’m considering, just considering a lot – what can I do to set myself straight? For whatever reason, I keep thinking “existential crisis, existential crisis, existential crisis” – a philosophical term, but, having to do with the questioning of the meaning and purpose of one’s life. We all go through stages in life, and why do we come to so many crossroads? Well, because things happen – events, changes, all these things are happening around us. For me, a lot of times, I just want time to stop. Stand still, time. Because I can’t keep up with the every day changes that occur. Many of my friends have gotten engaged, married, and/or having babies. And yes, well, while I think, I wish it could happen to me, at the same time, I.cannot.keep.up. {major emphasis here please?!?] I can’t keep up with you people! I can’t keep up with the changin’ of the times. Stop moving so fast. Let me catch up! I’m lagging behind all the time. Gee whiz.
So, I’m definitely at a crossroads in my life – and I want to do something about it.
In that regard….I’m taking a summer hiatus or something. Something to that effect. But it’s not the whole summer. It’s more like, during the month of July. Actually 3 weeks of July and maybe one week in August. Gee whiz, again! Only 4 weeks to really like, hiatus-it-out. Except, not really. Life just keeps moving…

But, here’s a cheer to the blog, though!
Signing off,
L.M.M.

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Am I listening to what He is saying?

Hey you out there!
So, it’s been a while since I last wrote. So, here I go again, because I keep pondering on something.
One of my roommates reminded me of the story of Ruth and Rahab in the Bible.
And then I came across this post on KindredGrace.com [ http://kindredgrace.com/you-cant-hurry-love/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+KindredGrace+%28Kindred+Grace%29] And this woman also mentions Ruth’s story. Mayhap the Lord is trying to tell me something?

So, let me give you what my thought process has been. In remembering my mom, she asked me before she had passed away last year if I thought that she would be an overcomer. At the time, since I didn’t exactly know or understand what an overcomer is, I told her that I didn’t know. Sadly, if she were to ask me again, or if I knew then what I know now, I would tell her, “yes mom, you are an overcomer” and I would tell her with such definitiveness because, as I look at myself – I am not one. She was my mother, and she had an overcoming spirit – she prayed for others because she could do nothing else. I learned that from her, but I haven’t been able to pray in so long. I also have learned that she was a fighter – I saw her fight for her life up until the very end, when she took her last breaths. And then I look at myself and I say…” I can’t fight”

So, that’s where the story of Ruth and Rahab come in. My roommate reminded me that Rahab was a harlot, and Ruth was a moabitess – both peoples of whom God had forsaken. But Rahab helped the spies. Boaz was brought forth and was related to Rahab. Ruth eventually marries him. Ruth didn’t go back to her people but stayed with Naomi, her mother-in-law, both of whom were widowed. Naomi helped Ruth and guided her, and thus where the sovereign match of Boaz and Ruth took place. Why is this significant? Because, they were in the line of the direct ancestry of Christ. If it hadn’t been for Rahab, and if it hadn’t been for Ruth, Christ couldn’t have come to be born. This has more significance. They had to fight their way into this. And God honored Rahab for helping the spies. God honored Ruth for staying with Naomi and not going back to her people.

My mom was a fighter, and most of the time, I don’t feel like a fighter, but I need to take the initiative and to fight my way into staying where I’ve been placed. Where God has put me. Or else I’m going to slip away. And I have to hope that God will honor my decision to follow Him. I have to follow Him with all of my might even though, I can’t do it. I’m too weak. I’m not strong. I’m stubborn, I’m so many things. But I have to fight.

So, Mom, I think that yes, you’re an overcomer, and that to honor you and to honor God, I have to learn to fight to be an overcomer, and I have to fight to remain in God’s kingdom.

With so much to consider,
I sign off,
L.M.M.