It’s the last day of September…

September has been a good month for me. So, I’m taking a moment to reflect on all the things I’m grateful for this month:

– The privilege of going to Jacksonville, FL at the beginning of this month for a church conference and remembering the times I’ve had with my mom there. A sister reminded me that she met both of my parents for the first time in a Jacksonville conference. Also, seeing some former housemates from my time in California (the beauty of only living a state away!)

– My birthday (the 3rd): Well, every birthday without my mom is hard, since she never failed to give me a card. Let it be known that my dad is not a card person – which he himself managed to state to me during said birthday. And you know how it is, to receive a card from your mom! Moms are truly something special. My mom was special to me, and I can see how special of a mom my sister is to her own children, too….I can’t wait to be one someday! But I received gifts from friends, very lovely gifts from friends, and even though I miss my mom, they are special, supportive friends 🙂 and I’m grateful for that. 

– My second interview for my job, and then getting hired the next day.

– I’m grateful for the learning experiences that come with having said job.

– I’m grateful for Autumn, and all the cooler weather, and the feel of the calm outside. 

– I’m grateful for every yellow/white butterfly I see – they remind me of my mom, since she used to call me her butterfly: coming and going all the time (school, training, etc.) 

I’m immensely grateful to the Lord for knowing exactly what He’s doing to care for me, for giving me the motivation to go on each day – and for all the positive things this month that outnumber all the negative ones. 

Today, right now, life is good. It has its ups and downs, but I’m grateful that as I write this, life is so good 🙂

One productive day, or one fine day, or maybe two?

It’s been a whirlwind of a week. 

On Tuesday morning, I managed to get up early enough to take a short walk/jog near my house. It’s something that I used to do every day two summers ago, and it was helping me keep my weight off. Since then, I’ve gained 20 pounds, and I’m not proud of it. I have to lose 40 if I want to be at a size that doesn’t make me look so bulky, and whatnot. Plus, they say that exercise is good for you, and me, determined not to believe a word of it, though I’ve had some experience knowing that it IS good for you, have been rebellious on this matter, to a T. For serious. Anyway, supposedly I was willing to pick it up again this week, since something, I’m not sure what super possessed me to go and do it. I really don’t know why, because it’s been a long time since I’ve had any desire to get up out of bed close to 8am. No joke. 
Anyway, moving right along, this was going to be the day, that I exercised, and what else, you ask? Go to the library! (When was the last time I went?!?) Why the library, you ask? To actually check out books! On what? On craft activities and ideas for kids: Image!!! Because, well, I work now, didn’t you know? And, well, I need some help, because 99% of the time, I have no idea what I’m doing with an after school classroom full of 20 kids, and there only being one of me. 

And then, yesterday happened, which was Thursday, only two days after Tuesday, and it all spiraled downhill from there. 
First of all, I have to raise my voice to capture the kids’ attention – I know that is not something you do, and I don’t want to do it, I hate yelling, but by gosh, those kids don’t listen. 5, maybe 5, out of twenty are behaved well the whole time. OUT OF 20. And I don’t know what to do, and I don’t want to lose my job because it’s good experience, and whatifineverfindanother if they fire me?! Am I being paranoid? Must be, since they actually want me to come help with the Fall Festival next month, so this idea I have of them firing me, well, it must all be in my head. But still, I want to do a good job, and advance, because it’s my first job, and that’s kind of what you do when you do well in a job, right?! Sigh. I know nothing about this working world. 
But anyway, yesterday I fell at work, and of course, the only kid who saw it decides to laugh at me, and seemingly thinking I was fine, i thought nothing of it, until I came home, and my dad told me to put my foot in epsom salt, and then I iced it, and then, I went to the doctor today, and now it looks like this: 
but I have anti-inflammatory medicine now so that should help, right?Image
And, I also got my flu shot, because, it’s kind of free and if I don’t get it i feel like i’m dying every time I get sick because that’s what happened at the beginning of this year when I missed the flu shot and got sick, twice. 
Taking care of three matters at the doctor’s office, and getting medicine, and missing work for that wasn’t a complete and total loss right? Plus, I had a friend with me, whom I called up, to help me cheer up, and who took me to the doctor. 🙂 So much love for said friend for being with me today because I just needed someone to be there for me today. This week had been kind of tough, other than the super awesome day of trying to be productive in the morning which was Tuesday! 
Oh, and on Wednesday, I tried to make my 5 year old kiddos write class rules, it was cute, but maybe not entirely the best idea…Image 

Here’s to failing miserably at a job she likes, and learning from her mistakes which she keeps making, like, all the time.

To take note:

on April 4, 2000 (?), my oldest nephew was born. 

on April 4, 2012, my mom went with the Lord.

on September 4, 2013 – I was hired for a new job.


I made it through my first week of my very first job since having been out of college. Albeit, it’s part-time, but it’s a starting point. It took me one month to find this job, all the Lord’s doing, i’m sure. But I wanted to take a moment of reflection because the fact that the day I was hired was 1. the day after my birthday, and 2. the fourth, a significant day because of the events listed above – I know the Lord is watching over me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if my mom is watching over me too. Sometimes I feel like i’m letting her down, but then i’ll see that occasional butterfly, which reminds me of her, and I realize, she might actually be waiting for me to get to where I need to be. I wonder if she knows where I’ll end up, or how I’ll end up at the end…maybe not. I know the Lord knows. It’s nice to think about her like that sometimes though. 



Summary of the last two weeks!

Since I have about several topics to blog about going in my head – I figured, that I could just give you a summary list of the events that have occurred in the last two weeks.

  • On Monday, August 26th, I applied online for a job. 
  • On Wednesday, August 28th, I received an email from said job to interview either that day, or the next day (called and went in for an interview Thursday, the 29th, spoke to the director for 5 minutes, spoke to another director, and they told me to call them the next day. 
  • On Friday, August 30th, I called them, made a second interview, and then went to Jacksonville, FL, for a church conference that weekend. 
  • On Tuesday (mostly an ordinary day) September 3rd, was my birthday, my second one without my mama. I’m 26 now. 
    This day went pretty well with receiving flowers, surprise gifts, and in total about 5 gifts from friends, via mail, delivery, or left on my bedroom desk. This day also began grief work support group session #1
  • On Wednesday, September 4th, I did the second interview for said job. They hired me close to two hours later. I began work on the 5th, doing paperwork, on Thursday and Friday…and then did my shift. My job is an after school care teacher for an after school program. 
  • On Saturday, September 7th, I did my First Aid Training for the job, then went to my brother-in-law’s father’s viewing. I had the opportunity to hold my two month old nephew and put him to sleep for what I hope was half an hour or so. 
  • On Sunday, September 8th, was the funeral service – to which I found very different than what I’m normally used to, but enjoyable because on the one hand, the life of this person was celebrated, and then the family was encouraged to go on living, since time has been given to us by God, and it really matters how we live that counts before God’s eyes. 
  • On Monday, September 9th, I did my first full shift on the job, alone, with the help of three teachers to quiet down my kids. I work with kindergarten by the way. O_o
  • Tuesday, September 10th – totally missed my grief support group session #2, due to going late after work, and the doors of the church building where it’s held, being locked. 
  • It’s Thursday morning, haven’t gone to work yet, but I’m still trying to earn those kiddos’ respect.

For the record, I do feel kind of accomplished, because, I’ve only been looking for a job during the month of August. I’ve had four interviews. By the 4th, I got a second interview, and the job situation happened so quickly, that i’m sure it really is of the Lord, because I like what I’m doing, though I may not be getting paid much, since it’s part-time in the afternoons, and I drive a long way to and from, it’s a good starting point to get experience that I need to eventually advance in my field. We all have to start from scratch. I’m learning what it is to be in the working world!